Frustration I: Where am I Heading?

Last night I was going through a story by Paulo Coelho about a man named Manuel. The name was chosen to reflect the thousands of millions of people like Manuel who remain busy, go to office, don’t reflect on their life and don’t have dreams. They live their life like a machine operating a specific task up to their useful life. And die. Just like that.

It is said, among many functions, dreams act as a tool to express frustrations. I slept as soon as I read the story about Manuel. The dreams were not good. Sometimes I cried and sometimes I tried to run but some invisible force always pulled me back. I could reach no where.

Currently, I am working with a prestigious multi national company whose Head Office is located in Dubai and she has her branches all over Asia. I tried and dig in the history of this organization and found that none of the employees are ever promoted to any place outside Nepal. And the turnover of here is rapid. People always keep changing. This is not adding any fun and growth in my life.

Every morning as soon as I wake up, I look into facebook so that I don’t miss wishing friends in their birthdays, special occasions or their success stories. This morning I saw a post from my school friend. He is in his last semester and excited and enthusiastic about life. And his life is taking a great leap. He is doing awesome things. WOW!! That’s just great. I am happy for him. But this made things even worse for me.

I am frustrated like hell. I cannot think straight.

I have suggested people throughout my life to be positive, never to compare, and be enthusiastic, pessimistic. I am not able to identify whether I am being pessimistic or optimistic. But I am not helping myself. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

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