Sleepless Nights......

Sometimes I go back into time when I was a child and replay some memories that are still fresh. Like when I was in class 3, I used to look at my seniors of grade 10 and think
'Wow! They are great. Awesome. It must be very difficult.'
I remember my mom saying when I was a child - looking to our neighbor,
'Her son is a bachelors graduate. He is great now. When will my boy be big enough. It must be such a glory'.
I asked my mother last time we had a chat,
'Mom I am a bachelors graduate. Am I big enough or great now?'
Her lovely answer was, 'You are always my cute little kid.'
Her comment meant that - its not enough. Life must be big. And things are just beginning.
However, SLC was and not a great deal anymore from where I stand. Its easy. On regards to bachelors, I passed it too with good grades. And now I see the implications of referring them as difficult and glorious. It is because the responsibility that comes after the graduation is great. I now understand, by saying its difficult, people are citing to the aftermath of the graduation at different dimensions of life. The change in behavior and daily habit that the degrees seek in one's life.
The question that hunts me now is, 'What is big? How do we explore our limits further? Where to begin and what to begin?'
I found this quote in one of our holy book 'A mountain is big only when you are at its base. When you reach the top, its below you. What is the top of one's life is the real question.'
I keep thinking over and over. Things has changed dramatically since I first stepped in Kathmandu 6 years back. Even my outlook towards life has changed. My ethics has changed and the dreams and aspirations are far different. Currently, I am at the base of numerous mountains. Which mountain I decide to conquer will create and explain me to my generations to come. And it is next very difficult question that forces me to stay awake.

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