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म को ? किन बाचेको ?

अचानक मनबाट अनौठो भएर आयो । वरिपरि हेरे । केही ठम्याइन । भर्खर मोबाईल switch-off  गरेर on  गर्जस्तो । केही function  नै नचल्ने । खाली । देब्रे भित्तामा "silence  please" र "switch-off  your mobile phone" को ब्यानर टाँगेको थियो । त्यसका माथि ३ वटा फ्यान आफ्नै तालमा घुमी रहेका । एकछिन घोत्लिएँ ।

प्राय साँझाको समय मेरो “Apex Library” मै बित्ने गर्छ । “updates” लिन र “contact” राख्न त्यहाँ जाने गर्छु । ट्युसन  भएको बेला अलि चाडै औउँछु । अहिले off season । ६ बज्दा ठ्याक्कै कलेजमा । सधै जस्तै बशेर नेट चलाउन थालेको रहेछु । धेरैबेर सोचेपाछी बल्ल थाहा पाए । तर आज अनौठो लागि रहेको थियो । खै किन हो ।

फेसबूक खुल्लै रहेछ । कोहि संग च्याट गर्दै रहेछु । च्याटको थुप्रो भै सकेछ । के रिप्लाई गर्ने सोच्न सकिन । बन्द गरिदिएँ । माथि नाम आउने ठाउंमा पुलुक्क हेरे । नितेश खतिवडा । नाम केहि अनौठो लागो । केहि चिने जस्तो पनि लाग्यो । एकछिन टोलाई रहे । मेरै नाम पो रहेछ । मलाई सबैथोक अनौठो लग्न थाल्यो । वाक्क लगेर आयो । घर गए । बाटो पनि अनौठो नै थियो । घर । कोठा । टेबुल । सबै नौला । बिचलित भएर बसी रहे । बसी रहेको बेला एउटा प्रश्न मान मा आयो । म को ? किन बाचेको ?

खान बनए । खाएँ । प्रश्नले बिथोली रह्यो । म को ? किन बाचेको ?

बिथोलिएको मान लिएर रेडियो चलाउन थाले । star fm मा प्रबचन आउदै रहेछ । त्यहि अडिए । गुरु भन्न लागे "यो सर संसार एउटा सपना हो । जग्नुस यसबाट । न अल्मलिनुस । न झुकिनुस यो सत्य हो भनेर । यो संसार यो जिन्दगि एउटा सपना मात्र हो ।" म झसङ्ग भए । दिनभर के भएको पत्तो पाएको थिएन । किन यस्तो विचार आइरहेछ पनि थाहा थिएन । साचै सपनापो हो कि जस्तो लग्यो । गुरुले सपना बाट जाग्नु त भने तर उपाए भनेनन् । मलाई जाग्नु थियो । उठ्न लाई आफुलाई चिमोटे । झापड हने - दुख्यो । अनुहार धोए । खेर्सानी खाए - पिरो बयो । आनेक गरे । निकै अबेर भएपछि निन्द्रा लग्यो । सपना हैन रहेछ भन्ने थहा भयो ।

बिहान उठ्दा त्यहि प्रश्न फेरे दिमागमा दौडेर आयो । म को ? किन बाचेको ?

टेबलमा राखेको “भागवत गिता” तिर आँखा गयो । विश्वका कत्रा-कत्रा प्रश्नका उत्तर त्यहाँ हुन्छ भन्ने सुनेको थिए । पढ्न थाले । कृष्णले अर्जुनलाई एक ठाउं भनेका रहेछन "किन डरउछौ यिनीहरुलाई मार्न ? यि सब त पहिले मरिसकेका हुन् । तिमी पनि मरि सकेका छौ । यो मुर्दा सरिर्लाई मार्न येत्रो हिच्किचाहट ? आखिर किन ? आत्मा आमार छ । सरिर मरि सक्यो । संकोच नगर ।"

जिन्दगि दुइ त्यान्द्रो त रहेछ । आश र साशको । आशनै नरहेपछि साशको केहि मोल हुन्न रहेछ । त्यसै पनि मुर्दा सरिर । स्वयम् भगवान श्री कृष्णले भन्नु भएको  । चुटाइदिउँ  चुटाइदिउँ  जस्तो लग्यो - साशको त्यान्द्रो ।

 म अझै बिथोलिए । आँखा अगाडी झुन्डिएको "वर्ल्ड म्याप" मा आँखा गयो । नेपाल हेरे । भारत हेरे । चाइना हेरे। नेपाल त बर्षे पछि खुम्चिदै गएको रहेछ । म जस्तै । आर्थिक अनि मानबिय प्रगति सधै घट्दो । नेपालका आफन्त “नेपाली”लाई नेपाल बस्न मन छैन । सबै हिडी रहेका छन् । छिमेकि साथीलाई हेर्ने फुर्सद नि छैन । आफ्नै चटारो छ । ठ्याक्कै मेरै जिन्दगि देखे । प्रत्येक नेपालीले आफ्नो जिन्दगी देखी वाक्क लगेर कुनै न कुनै बेला कुनै देशमा अलप भए हुन्थिएओ भन्ने सोचेकै होलान । आधा नेपाली बाहिर, नेपालका त्यसै वाक्क । त्यस्तै कुनै देशमा अलप भए सुखको जिन्दगि त हुन्थियो । महाभारत श्रीन्खला सम चाइनाको अरु भारतको । नेपाल न भएको कसलाई मतलब । एक दुइ वटा देश भक्त १-२ दिन रोलन । नया सरकारमा रमाउने छन त्यसपछि । भगवान बुद्ध पहिले नै भारतका भै सके, सगरमाथा र यार्चागुम्बा चाइनाको हुन्छ । म कतै हराए भनेनि कसलाई के मतलब । कसलाई के थाहा । १-२ जना २-३  दिन रोलन। बानि त हो । फेरीहाल्छनी । जाबो एउटा त्यान्द्रो त हो सास । धेरै लागे एक मिनेट ।

 हुनत ऐले मलाई कसैले फोन गर्यो र बोलन थाल्यो भने मेरो मनस्थिति उसले बुझ्दैन । हासेर मजाले बोल्न सक्छु । त्यो एस्तो क्वालिटी हो जसलाई मैले मजाले सिकेको छु । खुशी भएको नाटक गर्ने । सबैलाई ढाट्न सक्ने । तर आफ्नो मानलाई ढाट्न कसले सक्ने ? नाटक गरेर कसले झुक्क्याउन सक्ने ? म को ? किन बाचेको ? कसले दिने यो प्रश्न को उत्तर ।

Comments

  1. Unknown3 March 2015 at 20:12

    Yo k ho? Timro kunai

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown3 March 2015 at 20:16

      Y k ho? Timro kunai moment ko reality ho? Fiction ho? K ho? Fiction ho vane lekhna saili ramro xa...manxe le lekhkhekai Karan "manxe" vako ho. Reality vae- timi janminuko udesya yei sansarma xa, tei pauna lai bachne timile. Timi ma afnu vabisya dekhne haruka lagi bachne n arulai bachne udesya dina ka lagi bachne. Karma nai sabai vanda mathi xa. Karma garna lai bachne ho.

      Delete
  2. Masterpiece3 March 2015 at 20:35

    Thank you so much for the comment.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown21 July 2015 at 17:39

    Admirable piece of written Nitesh Brother....keep it up..God Bless you.

    ReplyDelete

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